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Is social media taking you away from your family time?

More and more I’ve been seeing people online constantly! I have to wonder if this taking away from their family time or their interaction with the world. I would criticiz eteenagers that don’t leave their mom’s basements, spending all day and night playing video games, is social media and what you are doing really any better?

There are times when I’ve left to go show homes, or to go coach baseball, and when I’ve come back and they have been on Activerain, Facebook, or Twitter and you see that they have left 125 tweets in those few hours. What? You didn’t sell any real estate? You didn’t talk to your family?

EzineArticles Cartoon

I do understand the importance of tweeting, as I picked up my first client today from it. I’ve gotten most of my business in the last 2 years from blogging on Activerain, but there is one thing that will and always has come first and that is my family and family time with softballthe parks (which I integrate in to my blogs) and the family dinner.

So, has social media taken over your life to the point your family has to wait for you finish typing one last comment or one last tweet before you will even look up to say good morning or good night?

Think about your answer then go kiss your family and say, “I’m sorry.”

Respect Realty LLC (Expect More)


At Respect Realty, LLC our agents believe in 100% dedication to client satisfaction.  We specialize in property and land acquisition around the Portland Metro and Vancouver, WA area. We delight in working with first time home buyers and sellers to guide them from start to finish. Our doors are always open and we are always happy to assist you with your real estate questions.


Reach out today, we look forward to talking with you!


Todd Clark and Seraina Aguayo (Owners of Respect Realty)

Respect Realty LLC (Expect More)



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Comment balloon 69 commentsRespect Realty LLC • May 30 2009 07:26AM


Todd, Do I kiss my dogs on their noses, or on top of their heads.

They are deaf, so they may not hear me.

This is an interesting spin on a topic I've seen often in my short time on AR: people being addicted to it.

I work hard to limit my time to no more than 2 hours per day on the web. I'm on my computer a lot more than that some days -- I use my computer for so many things -- it is a business tool.

Posted by Andrew Haslett, Heartland of Kentuckynulls, Best Home Inspector (Van Warren Home Inspections, NAHI CRI) about 10 years ago

I've been guilty of this, though like you, I am now trying to building time with the family into my blogging.  For instance, we'll go to a festival tomorrow I'll then blog about.

Posted by Christine Donovan, Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M (Donovan Blatt Realty) about 10 years ago

I think that could happen , Like now my grand daughter is over and I am commenting on your blog. Crazy , do I have my priorities messed up.

Posted by Elizabeth Benefield (Montana Country Real Estate) about 10 years ago

Todd, great reminder, I am afraid that often we spend time together in the same room each of us on our laptops on some social network, we're together, but are we really?  Thanks for reminding us what is really important.

Posted by Tony & Darcy Cannon, The C Team (Aubrey and Associates Realty) about 10 years ago

Todd, When I was your age with kids about the same as yours, I worked 70 to 80 hours a week in the corporate world. By the time I got home from work it was pretty much bed time. My company let me coach my kids school teams and did sponsor the teams. I now spend time with my family at their leisure due the fact their both out on their own. I don't care for mindless TV so I post and comment... 

Posted by Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS, Tacoma Washington Agent/Broker & Market Authority! (RE/MAX Northwest.) about 10 years ago


I think you hit a avlid point. Sometimes all this can become the new strain of OCD behavior, or "adult game boy" complex. It's sad when I see people forget their old freind the phone and the power it holds. Prospecting  each day for new business a minimum of 2 hours is still crucial. Hope all is well. How  is your team doing in baseball?

Posted by Tom Braatz Waukesha County Real Estate 262-377-1459, Waukesha County Realtor Real Estate agent. SOLD! (Coldwell Banker) about 10 years ago

its so seems like some are able to manage linkedn, twinkle twinkle twitter,facebook and blogging 24/7 - and I think what the hey ?  where does the time come........i do  believe there is the odd person out there that doesn't sell a lot of real estate :-)

Posted by Liz Moras Migic, Chilliwack, British Columbia - Realtor about 10 years ago

No it hasn't gotten me that bad yet. I have had to put limits on the time I do spend on the net socializing. Great point though and some may need to look up!

Posted by Chip Jefferson (Gibbs Realty and Auction Company) about 10 years ago

The answer is yes...I've decided that I need to get up in the morning and get all my social stuff out of the way... if thats possible...there is so much to keep up with.

Posted by Konnie Mac McCarthy, Broker/Owner - VA & MD "Time To Get A Move On!" (MacNificent Properties, LLC) about 10 years ago

Take away from their family, heck if they are online that much it is taking away from their business.

Posted by George & Arlene Paukert (Road to Wealth, Inc.) about 10 years ago

Yes, it can happen and it has. Not that I ever missed a event of my kids but I have used that phrase, "one minute and I'll be finished".  Time spent with my family can't be replaced, I have always wondered how so many can be on line all the time too.

Posted by Missy Caulk, Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate (Missy Caulk TEAM) about 10 years ago

You know, I was just thinking the same thing!  I have this wonderful new sweetie, and we're taking today off to go for a long bike ride.  That means I have about an hour this morning to do my blog thing.  Having a real life is more important than a virtual life, although I've make some amazing real friends on Active Rain.

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) about 10 years ago


I have to say that I am guilty as charged! That is something to think about.

Posted by Richard Weisser, Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional (Richard Weisser Realty) about 10 years ago

Todd, what a great post. You are very right. We need to be LIVE social with our own families too!!!! I have to go kiss my son now. Bye!

Posted by Marney Kirk, Towson, Maryland Real Estate (Cummings & Co. Realtors) about 10 years ago

Todd - In the begining I was NOT tuned in to the family only the computer. Now my social networking time is done in the morning before they get up or after they have gone to school and again after the kids are in bed. 

Posted by Laura Gray (RE/MAX Realty Group) about 10 years ago

I get up extra early to do my stuff on the computer before the kids get up. Then, I become Dad when they wake up. Great post and reminder for all of us.

Posted by Harry F. D'Elia, Investor , Mentor, GRI, Radio, CIPS, REOs, ABR (RentVest) about 10 years ago

Some people really don't have lives...Currently, my daughter is in my lap creating a birthday card for her dad while i'm typing this.

Posted by Donna Harris, Realtor,Mediator,Ombudsman,Property Tax Arbitrator (Donna Homes, powered by JPAR - about 10 years ago

Totatly great advise. I am a fairly new blogger and I have been getting up before everyone and blogging so it does not cut into my day

Posted by Terri Onigkeit, GRI (Keller Williams of Northern Colorado) about 10 years ago


It is addictive!

Being empty nesters, with Brenda's computer next to mine it's not a problem.

I don't know how some people do it.


Posted by William J. Archambault, Jr. (The Real Estate Investment Institute ) about 10 years ago

Active Rain is very addicting. My husband actually told my family that he was jealous of the computer. So, now I curtail my blogging. and spend more time with him.

Posted by Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®, Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate (Vision Quest Realty) about 10 years ago

Yes Todd  What an important reminder.  Blogging can be a time eating machine .  I have already lost an hour this morning reading and commenting on blogs...tempted to write a blog ...but I know it will eat up most of the rest of the morning.I am glad I landed on your post because after I comment.  I lam logging off AR ...and getting some important task done that I have postponed for a long time Thanks...I'll be back...Enjoy your day.

Posted by June Lewis, Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571 (Northwood Realty Services) about 10 years ago

It's easy to identify those who have been 'absorbed' into the SN abyss. :)

Anything done to excess will detract from all else. Even real estate. HA

Posted by Candice A. Donofrio, 928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text (Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker) about 10 years ago

Last night my husband and I were both sitting on the couch, each with a laptop on our respective face-book pages.  At one point I looked up and laughed and we both realized just how absorbing some of this stuff can be.  

Posted by Dr. Stacey-Ann Baugh, A doctor who makes house calls. (Century 21 New Millennium) about 10 years ago

Social media and Active Rain specifically can certainly be addictive, without question.  That being said, I do understand that noting trumps family time. :)

Posted by Mark MacKenzie about 10 years ago

Todd ~ You do a great job of balancing your time of work, social media and family! It is not easy but it can be done! You are a perfect example.

What I have been challenged with is trying to explain to my two 12 year olds that my time on the computer is different then their time on the computer! My daughter once said to me; "they call twitter, facebook, and all the other sites "Social Media" for a reason mom and it doesn't have anything to do with work."

Fortunately, mom still trumps daughter so I get to set the amount of time we all spend on the computer.

Posted by Terrie Leighton, Reno Real Estate Agent ~ Selling Homes in Reno (Ferrari-Lund Real Estate ) about 10 years ago

Oh, the famous, "just give me a second" gets me SO much razzing in my house!  I just HAVE to finish what I'm doing and then, I'm all theirs!

Debe in Charlotte

Posted by Debe Maxwell, CRS, Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods ( | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310) about 10 years ago

Me and my wife are empty nesters.  Don't have TV.  The satellite company and had a disagreement.  I don't like how they do business, so I canceled the service.

When we a chance to spent time with the grand-kids.  I will never be found on any social media.  We really enjoy spending time with them and ever opportunity.

Posted by Mark Watterson, Utah Real Estate about 10 years ago

I found your testimonial to active rain as a major source of clients plus now one from tweeter inspiring.  I am careful about limiting my time.

Posted by An Marshall, Your St Augustine Real Estate Consultant (Berkshire Hathaway - St. Augustine) about 10 years ago

Hi Todd, I am one who is not so much into social media but feel like I should probably do more... maybe.  I don't have the time since I am involved in a lot of other things.  We all have the same amount of time and we all make choices in how we use our time.  Good post!  Have a great week-end.

Posted by Shirley Parks, Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate (Sands Realty 210-414-0966) about 10 years ago

Todd, anything can get obsessive or addictive, and we really need to know how much time to spend in all areas. I share seeing the same thing about some people that you see and I do wonder about them taking care of their families and doing business to bring in income. Only they know for sure what they are doing in their lives but maybe your great post will serve as a wake up call.

Posted by Gary Woltal, Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth (Keller Williams Realty) about 10 years ago

I have been guilty in the past but I am tryng to keep it all in moderation.

Posted by Barb Szabo, CRS, E-pro Realtor, Cleveland Ohio Homes (RE/MAX Trinity Brecksville Ohio) about 10 years ago

How is it any different than someone who is gone at the office all day? or someone who works all day and night showing homes? I really think its not fair blaming social media for a persons choice of how they spend time. They could easily be just working too much and putting family 2nd. I dont tihnk Twitter or anything else is to blame here but its an easy, unfair target.

Posted by Shane OnullGorman, Eau Claire Wisconsin, Real Estate Agent & Realtor- Buy or Sell (Eau Claire Realty, Inc.) about 10 years ago

Todd - this is a good post, and you are right. I take some time for social networking, however family time is important. I would rather talk to my kids . . ..

Posted by Sharon Paxson, Newport Beach Real Estate (Compass) about 10 years ago

Todd --- It is evident that a lot of folks agree with you --- including me.  I spend probably too much time on AR, but my family comes first and my business second -- then social media networking -- I do have to say that I do have my priorities correct.

Mama Liz's Signature

Posted by Liz Loadholt, Realtor--Broker-in-charge - Trainer--Relocation Director Covering SC (Liz Loadholt- AgentOwned Realty- Covering SC) about 10 years ago

It's all about balance in life, isn't it?  We should be setting priorities and a certain amount of time aside for social media, including blogging. It could take over your life if you let it ... but there is so much more out there to enjoy -- like your family and friends and the "real" world too.  There is no substitute for family time especially when your kids are still living at home.  They grow up before you know it!!

Posted by Maureen Bray Portland OR Home Stager ~ Room Solutions Staging, "Staging that Sells Portland Homes" (Room Solutions Staging, Portland OR) about 10 years ago

A very interesting perspective, Todd. True, to a point - in my post Hey! Blogging is NOT a Leisure Activity!, I quipped to my wife (who thinks I'm now married to the computer...hmmmm.....) that the time I spend blogging is directly related to my efforts to become a better realtor. That being said, I realize that I do spend an inordinant amount of time here in the Rain, and I have been trimming back, and spending more quality time with her and my children.

Posted by William James Walton Sr., Greater Waterbury Real Estate (WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group) about 10 years ago

I try to do all my networking early in the morning - I get up 1/2 hour earlier than I used to, poke through ActiveRain, open my TweetDeck, etc. When the kids are ready, I take them to school.

We are a "connected" family - for a family of 4 we have enough computers to supply Best Buy. When the kids get home, homework is done and then they help me with whatever I need done. (My 13 year old daughter can whip out Web site stuff and my 14 year son is the in house graphic artist). We spend a lot of time on the couch with our laptops catching up on the day, what to do over the weekend, etc.

My kids know how to Tweet, post, do it all and I find we spend a lot more time together and talking more as we work together to get projects done.

I am lucky that it fits my situation and the Internet has made us spend MORE time together.

Billie Hillier
Practical Real Estate Marketing
The Internet Has Changed the Way Clients Find You - Let Us Help Them

Posted by Billie Hillier, Savvy Home Realty Solutions ( about 10 years ago

Sometimes I just shut off the computer, and leave it off.

Posted by Bruce Brockmeier, Coached By Crouch (Internet Marketing Consultant to REALTORS®) about 10 years ago

That is an easy thing to do.  I try to do the social media stuff early in the morning or late at night.  Family should always come first.

Posted by Irene Tron about 10 years ago

I think you're reading too much into this, Todd. Some people watch TV, others read, others spend time online. Some agents time block for social media in their daily schedules just like any other business building activity. Of course family should always come first, but that still leaves a lot of discretionary free time.

Posted by John Novak, Henderson, Las Vegas and Summerlin Real Estate (Keller Williams Realty The Marketplace) about 10 years ago

It's like anything, too much is probably not good. But then again, who knows what is right for one person and wrong for another. Not everyone has small children or even a spouse for that matter. But I do understand your thought process and do believe it can be too much, just like the TV or any hobby or anything else in life. Easy to become addicted and easy to not realize how it can become a negative thing. We're only in this life once, we have to remember to keep things in check. Great subject.

Posted by Wendy Montoya, REALTOR® Broker Associate, 254-315-4906 (Towne Adams REALTORS) about 10 years ago

In today's competitive environment (or tough) it's so easy to distract oneself and place that extra ad, send that additional campaign, check for new propects in your inbox, and that's without counting Twitter, Facebook and other Social platforms.  Somehow, we all at times need to step back and put things in perspective.

Posted by Sergio Rebollo Jr. (Real Estate TeamMates) about 10 years ago

Wait...I want to comment on your blog, but I need to send a "tweet", write a blog post and upload a YouTube video first...I will get to your comment in just a moment...shut up kids...get that cat out of my office...yes you can eat ice cream for lunch...just leave me alone, I am trying to social network here!!! :o))))  Just kidding!  You are so right...we need to monitor our time online and practice time blocking for our internet marketing so that we don't lose sight of the important parts of our life!

Posted by Jeani Codrey, If you're not learning, you're not living! (The Learning Jeani) about 10 years ago

I hear you loud and clear. I have seen folks on FaceBook who update their moods 2 dozen times a day. How do they have time for clients?

Besides, If I am going to spend time away from the family, I am not going to waste it on Social Media.  I AM GOING FISHING!

Posted by Mark Hall, Homes for Sale Vancouver Washington (Realty One Group Cascadia) about 10 years ago

Todd - It is very easy to get wrapped up in social media and blogging activities, to the detriment of family time.  I have scaled back considerably myself.

Posted by Jason Crouch, Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653) (Austin Texas Homes, LLC) about 10 years ago

Todd: Most of my kids are all grown up and my youngest lives with her mom... So I find myself by myself a lot and I'm writing, working on music, reading, and online or have the computer going in the background... I'm always working on something... I should probably go get a life...


Posted by Rene Fabre, Marketing in the Digital Age (First American Title) about 10 years ago

I was speaking to my friend last night about the beta-males of my generation (I'm 24) and how video games and such have contributed to this phenomenon. Are we creating a generation of beta-REALTORS? I don't think so. Like anything else, it's all about balance.  

Posted by DriveBuy Technologies (DriveBuy Technologies) about 10 years ago

Todd: Some day therapist are going to get rich on social media addicts... What will they call this disease ?

Posted by Roland Woodworth, Q Realty - Power In Real Estate (Q Realty) about 10 years ago

Todd - "OK I am logging off!" as I tell my husband every evening when he gets home :)

Posted by Wendy Rulnick, "It's Wendy... It's Sold!" (Rulnick Realty, Inc.) about 10 years ago

Todd- It can be hard.  I am still adjusting to having a baby in the house.  But I have found if I get up at 4 or 5 AM I have time to work and have family time.  Not Ideal as I could use more sleep, but I have to work and have family so I have to work it all in somehow.


Posted by Kim Peasley-Parker (AgentOwned Realty, Heritage Group, Inc.) about 10 years ago

Hi Todd~  It is important to keep everything we do in moderation.  I would much rather spend my time on the computer than watch TV.  Some people log into these sites and walk away from their computer to do something else and do not log out, so they may not actually be on the computer.  I have found as far as Facebook goes, I can sometimes just check in and see what is happening with my friends, families and clients, and not have to make the phone calls to check in and that SAVES me time!  Also, it is so much more efficient to send them a message or a email. 

Posted by Vickie McCartney, Broker, Real Estate Agent Owensboro KY (Maverick Realty) about 10 years ago


My thoughts are along the same line as Shane's and John's. I could be working on a computer at someone else's business for 8 hours or sitting at my office and just yakking with other agents.

Instead I sit at home working on my computer "growing my business".

Todd, this has been a great post and instead of continuing on with my comments I am going to jump over and write a post with my further thoughts.  I will put a link back to this post.


Posted by Jenny Kotulak, Broker - Oakville Ontario Real Estate (RE/MAX Real Estate Centre Inc., Brokerage) about 10 years ago

Hi Todd -- Great post.  I think real estate should fund life, not the other way around.  In the end, family, friends and real connections matter.  Real connections can be made on here, so I'm not minimizing it, but the whole work-life balance needs to exist as well.  I manage to play basketball and baseball for 10-15 hours a week, every week, busy or not, as that is always a huge priority for me.

Posted by Chris Olsen, Broker Owner Cleveland Ohio Real Estate (Olsen Ziegler Realty) about 10 years ago

Todd - I do my raining, blogging and tweeting in short bursts throughout the day. My evening burst is during TV time that the kids have or dinner cleanup...and then of course after they go to bed. My morning routine is before everyone gets up. I try hard to make sure to not neglect them and always try to stay cognizant of the amount of time I am online. The nice thing about twitter is I can tweet from my phone which I can use on the sofa in the family room, so I'm there, even if I'm not really into whatever it is that they are watching...

iCarly just isn't my bag, baby!

Posted by Christianne O'Malley, Exceptional Service - Delivering Results in Reno! (RE/MAX Realty Affiliates) about 10 years ago

- My computers are always on.

- My Blackberry is always on.

- A laptop is mounted in my car.

I am always connected.......


Posted by Harrison Painter, New Media Consultant (GoGladiator Media) about 10 years ago

As delicate as it maybe, it can be done and I would think you are proof of that.

Posted by Charles Stallions, 800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl. (Charles Stallions Real Estate Services ) about 10 years ago

Hi Todd, in a word, the answer is MODERATION.  Everything is better in moderation, including social networking and blogging.  When it overtakes your life that is not a good thing.

Posted by Steve Shatsky about 10 years ago

Todd:  I am guessing you have two choices.  Go kiss your family and tell them you're sorry for all the time you have spent away from them... or you can kiss your family goodbye.  That second choice, which is often made by default, can be extremely painful.  Trouble is... that once you realize what you have done... it is often too late to reverse it.  Thanks for sharing...

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) about 10 years ago

Todd - when I took about 2 months off from blogging recently, it opened up an amazing perspective on what blogging and social media "work" is important. Well, if I am working that is fine, but work when the kids are in bed or block out time to work. You can't work because it is a habit. And flat out, the family has to come first in practice, not just talk. Great post. Hopefully many people shut down their computer to spend time with family. Just like we need to shut our cell phones off at times.

Posted by Stephen Kappre, Helping You Home (KW Hometown) about 10 years ago

When my youngest was a teen, I was working 9hr days at a corporate job, going on business trips, going to college 2 nights a week and cracking the text books in "spare time" until the wee morning hours.

My kids are now grown with kids of their own. It's now just me and my dog. My time on the computer is to build business (SEO), communicate & work for clients. I read newspapers online rather than on paper. I read business mags online rather than on paper. I get news feeds on Twitter rather than on the TV. I can talk on my cell while looking up info on the computer. I happen to work from my home rather than sitting in an office so I can be more productive. Thus, I can chat with neighbors when I go out to get the mail or take an hour or so to pull weeds. I can continue to work while sitting in the lounge waiting for my car to be repaired. I can talk to clients while picking up groceries or driving. They can email questions at 10 at night and I can answer them right back.

Bottom line, my life now vs 20 yrs ago is far more flexible solely due to the computer & my Blackberry. Life isn't so different with "social media". It's just life in a tech age. We're doing the same type of things ... just using a different tool to achieve it.

Posted by Elaine Reese, REALTOR® in central Ohio (Real Living HER, Powell Ohio) about 10 years ago

Todd - Agree.  We are like Tony & Darcy above, both in the same room, each on their own computers on their own sites.  Are we together because we are in the same room? Not at all. If one speaks the other doesn't have a clue what they are talking about and maybe even a little annoyed to be interrupted!!!

Beyond that, have you noticed how when you are with someone and they are texting, or reading e-mails on their blackberry's from someone else.  Very strange; they are texting people they are not with and not talking to the people they are with!  Strange behaviour. Thanks for the thought provoking post.

Posted by Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers, Our Family Wants To Help Your Family! (RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage) about 10 years ago

I blog and spend time on active rain mostly at night after the kiddos are in bed- I use the computer often as my "bedtime virtual book"

Posted by Christine McInerney, The McInerney Team, Knoxville TN Homes For Sale (Great Life RE) about 10 years ago

Great post and I totally agree with your comments above. Thanks for sharing with us.

Posted by Katiejo Franks (Real Estate and Beyond, LLC) about 10 years ago

Great post and I totally agree with your comments above. Thanks for sharing with us.

Posted by Katiejo Franks (Real Estate and Beyond, LLC) about 10 years ago

That is why I have been gone so much from here lately- More family time and Lovin it!!!

Posted by kristi defazio about 10 years ago


Just me and hubby in our nest. One of my relaxations has been to play a computer game for an hour each evening - sometimes while doing laundry, baking, etc.  Chip only likes the "find hidden object" games so when I play a differentkind, he is on his own. He actually prefers to see me spend an hour on AR than on a game he doesn't like because some good is coming from AR. Too, Chip is one of my subscribers because he likes to real my posts and the comments from you guys.

As for business, I have blown off plans with Chip for business from time to time - but discuss the possibility with him before I make any changes to our schedule. Must admit I'm blessed with a super supportive spouse - he'll have a great dinner ready when I get home from an Open House or he'll run around and get my signs on icy nights. AR will never yield the rewards that Chip does!

Posted by Irene Kennedy Realtor® in Northwestern NJ (Weichert) about 10 years ago


Yes...FAMILY FIRST always...!!! Thanks,   Fran

Posted by Fran Gaspari, "The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ (Patriot Land Transfer, Inc.) about 10 years ago

I always knew you were a dedicated family man.  Your family is lucky to have you.

Posted by Angelia Garcia (Pure Realtors) about 10 years ago

A study just came out that said internet is about to pass TV as the number one thing that distracts families from spending quality time together. The report said people were coming home from work and instead of watching TV they were on the computer for hours and hours until bed time and not spending any time together. (Really a shame if you think about it)

Posted by Respect Realty LLC, Brokers - Oregon / SW Washington Real Estate (Respect Realty LLC) about 10 years ago

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